Centimani
MySpace Profile: www.myspace.com/centimani
Centimani, the many armed Greek brothers born of gods, whose appetites were satisfied solely by beer and destruction, were originally assumed to be the creation of a superstitious pagan culture. However; recent archaeological evidence suggests that the belief may have originated after the Boulder-based Black/Death metal band traveled back in time after drinking too much whiskey and eating too many spicy burritos.
This experiment has yet to be recreated, but the effects of the fearsome six-piece have already been felt around the world, and may be the most crucial cause of humanity’s slow descent since 500 BC. One could only imagine the impact such a nefarious group would have on an early agricultural civilization, with such grimy characters as Martyr (vocals), who is half man, half cheetah, half beer bong; Erk (guitar), who is periodically spotted at night near graveyards, leaving not a tombstone or casket to be found the following morning; Jamie (guitar), an alien arms dealer who runs a back-alley abortion clinic as a hobby; Max (bass), an ogre who survived the last ice age by eating his way through a mountain and single-handedly causing the extinction of the woolly mammoth; Mouren (keyboards), a mad-scientist slowly collecting scrap metal to build a robot-zombie army; and Orthon (drums), who is rumored to be the twisted offspring of a love affair between Satan and Grace Slick of Jefferson Airplane.
Centimani originally began several years ago, but the forces of hellfire and hammers were too great for two of the former members, who were promptly replaced with known maniacs and criminals. With their new lineup now solidified in the forge of mountains and snowdrifts, their potential for conquest is endless. If their cataclysmic warpath is not brought to a halt soon, we may all be forever doomed to an eternity of PBR and head banging.!
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Saturday, 29 August, 2009 at 11:22
Centimani is the shit!
Sunday, 24 January, 2010 at 13:37
All hails to Centimani